Dealing with Failure

The poster pictured at right is a parody of the motivational posters you will typically see in the workplace (this is one of many available from Despair.com). These posters are intended to poke fun at the thought that people can be “motivated” by something as simple as a poster.

I can chuckle at the poster (the satire is pretty funny to me), but the concept that is addressed in the poster – failure – can be a manager’s nightmare. No, not a manager’s failure, an employee’s failure.

Undoubtedly, managers often micro-manage their employees for one primary reason – they fear the failures that will inevitably arise when people step out on their own. After all, a failure of almost any magnitude is likely to create a myriad of problems, not the least of which is more work for the manager.

It is generally pretty easy to spot a dedicated micro-manager. Among other “tells”, he/she will often be heard saying to someone in the office that, “If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.” (Funny thing is, they rarely felt that way as an employee, but that’s another topic.)

The problem with micro-managers is that they can’t see the irony of their management style. In demanding that all work be done to their detailed specifications, they almost always fail themselves. They fail to develop talent, they fail to tap the potential productivity of their employees, and they consistently fail to understand why they have turnover issues. Usually, they simply blame the employee: “He just didn’t get it” or “She never bought in to our way of doing things.”

Uh huh.

Actually, I wanted to address “failure” for this reason: if you are one of the good managers trying to coach and develop your people, you should know that the way you react to employee failure is critically important. You will communicate far more just by the way you react to failure than anything you may actually say after you react! Why? Your immediate reaction (body language, facial expressions, outbursts, etc.) reveals your true feelings about the failure. Worse, for the employee who values your opinion of them, your negative reaction can be seriously damaging to the trust you may have developed with them.

“No matter how upset a leader may be with anyone, that person should never leave the presence of that leader without their dignity intact. This requires that leaders always consider the impact of their tongues on the lives of others.”

Andre L. Lynch, CEO

I should know. For years, I couldn’t understand why my family hated to let me know about a failure of any kind. What I learned was that my reactions did more damage than the actual failure ever could. MY failure – the way I reacted – was far worse in its effect on my family than the actual failure I was reacting to.

My motto now: I don’t see failure as failure, but as an opportunity to learn and grow. I learned that somewhere way back in my sales career. It works for me as a parent; it works for me as a manager. People are going to fail; in fact, they will never become what they are capable of until they do fail.

Just be careful how you react.